Reflection

As I sit here and reflect on the miracle that happened in my life 12 yrs ago today I feel so blessed.  I remember it like it was yesterday and some days wish it was! After a week of contractions every five minutes, going to the hospital and being sent home for false labor a week later the day was finally here! I was going to be a mommy ready or not. It was a rainy and stormy day, I went to my 37 week check up and the doctor said you are dialated to 4 so it's time to go to the hospital.  At that moment I felt like I was going to die of fear.  I wanted to have this baby so bad because I was so uncomfortable and just wanted to know if I this miracle inside me was a Bailey or a Madison, but yet hearing those words, it's time, I wanted to die.  I remember leaving the doctor and heading to my parents and telling my mom I was to head over to the hospital soon and my sister and mom were thrilled and the phone calls started.  My mom had me go home and get everything ready and my family was going to follow us to the hospital.  I went home and got more scared as the minutes past and when I was finally ready to go there was a funnel cloud up the street so naturally it delayed us leaving.  As petrified as I am of storms I was some what thankful for that funnel cloud because it meant that I could stay home just a bit longer.  A bit later we realized it was time to go. As we were getting closer to the hospital my fear grew bigger and I remember saying "I changed my mind I'm not doing this. I am not going in. This baby can live inside me for life because I can't do this....then the tears started"  After pulling into the hospital and pulling myself together I walked up to labor and delivery and let them know I had arrived.  The nurse got me settled in and my IV started and off she was heading to get a doctor to break my water. UMMMM wait I said something has just happened and the nurse started laughing and said "oh honey nothing bad has happened your water broke."  At that moment I realized there was really no turning back and then was told I was at 7 so not much longer!  I made it clear when I walked in that I wanted the epidural and they were to make sure I didn't miss the "window" of getting it.  As I lay there in so much pain that I could not breathe and the nurse turning into the devil I thought I was dying. I remember being told "just breathe, you have to breathe" and my response was " I CAN'T BREATHE YOU BREATHE FOR ME".  The pain had gotten so bad that I could not hold still and I kept asking for the epi and the nurse kept delaying and finally 2 1/2 hrs later it was time....here came the meds.  As I was getting the epi with contractions one on top of the other with NO break the doc was so nasty and told me if I didn't quit crying she wasn't giving it to me and my nurse on the other side of the room running around setting up the room for delivery I wondered "is this normal, should I be told this, should the nurse be getting ready for delivery all ready?"  Finally the meds were in and taking the pain away!!! I was looking forward to some rest and my popscicle that the nurse brought me! I was in heaven at that moment......but then the nurse came in only after 1 min of giving me the popscicle and only 20 mins after my epi and said "It's time to push".  UMMMM EXCUSE ME.....I just got out of pain, I just got my popscicle WHAT.  Ok I thought here goes nothing....within 3 pushes my baby was here, I heard the doctor say IT'S A BOY! My husband about hit the ceiling hearing that and we just smiled and looked at our beautiful baby boy! They brought Bailey over to my arms and I just held him and stared at this baby that was mine! I could not stop smiling and so proud when my family all came in to see him! Well that's when my life as a mommy began! I have loved and hated it at times, but I would not trade it for anything. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my wonderful son Bailey who is 12 yrs old today! You have blessed my life more then you could ever imagine!